were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
