how hairy? two words: wookie tits
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
His hands were made for my vagina.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize