Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
the day after is always just damage control
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize