i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
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Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
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Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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