Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
