Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
