Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize