Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
