a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My penis needs a shock collar
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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