If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
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I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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