yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
