i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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