covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
