does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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