so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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