; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
These tits shall not be calmed
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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