Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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