Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think people are normalizing furries
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
