how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
