I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize