Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
