This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
