Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
