...so i touched it.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
