Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
love makes seman taste better
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
