I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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