Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
