grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
