i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
