And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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