I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
