we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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