Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
