For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
