State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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