Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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