Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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