The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
