its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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