i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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