i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
worst night to have a conscience
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
