Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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