Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
3pm strippers are depressing
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
