She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
