Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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