dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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