We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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