but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
