Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I would fuck him just for his dog
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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