my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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