Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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