i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
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Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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