Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.

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(412): He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower. http://tfl.nu/q9b8

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(207): View more from Maine

so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.

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(207): so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable. http://tfl.nu/pqak

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(512): View more from Texas

She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!

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(512): She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them! http://tfl.nu/ovo7

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(858): View more from California

It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.

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(858): It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain. http://tfl.nu/y8ei

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(203): View more from Connecticut

This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.

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(203): This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning. http://tfl.nu/sy0s

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(416): View more from Toronto

He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.

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(416): He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner. http://tfl.nu/hs5r

Replies (2) Good night (2041) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs

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(732): I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs http://tfl.nu/vyur

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(352): View more from Florida

I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND

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(352): I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND http://tfl.nu/oakz

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(480): View more from Arizona

I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.

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(480): I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona. http://tfl.nu/nax7

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(925): View more from California

I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.

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(925): I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent. http://tfl.nu/smsr

Replies (4) Good night (1991) Bad night (416)
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(806): View more from Texas

There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.

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(806): There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night. http://tfl.nu/26q0

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(530): View more from California

Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?

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(530): Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river? http://tfl.nu/gd5u

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(971): View more from Oregon

Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.

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(971): Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should. http://tfl.nu/ipz3

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(360): View more from Washington

I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.

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(360): I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved. http://tfl.nu/qhmk

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(323): View more from California

You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five

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(323): You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five http://tfl.nu/6fgb

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