just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses