I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Also, beer. Big fan.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.