the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize