grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
well you can't waste a boner
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
