ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Did I show you my penis last night?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
