I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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