my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
