So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
