I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
