Pants 0. Shit 1.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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