all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
