what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize