They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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