Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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