lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
did i just pee glitter
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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